Hi there,
I’m back with another week of delectable juices from the stock market. I know you can’t wait to hear it. Your boy, Elon, takes center stage.
Shall we begin?
Let’s get it!
Elon & Twitter – The Saga Continues
So Elon agreed to buy Twitter as I earlier reported in a recent newsletter. We already knew Elon won’t just concede without some drama, right?
Well, very promptly on Thursday, Mr. Musk fired pretty much most of the senior level management (perhaps those who were close to the battle line against him), in persons of the CEO Parag Agrawal; Chief Financial Officer Ned Segal; Head of legal, public policy, trust and safety, Vijaya Gadde; and general counsel Sean Edgett.
This impending Hollywood superstar (because I mean why not?) – Mr. Musk – also shows up at the company’s headquarters on Wednesday carrying a detached kitchen sink into the office, as if to say “I am the new king of the jungle here. Let that “sink in!”
Unsure whether Musk’s 75% employee layoffs was just an overblown rumor, Twitter employees wait in panic for ‘the other shoe to drop.’ As per Elon’s normal character, he’s completely taken to trolling Twitter on Twitter #WhatAMan!
Two men came out of the Twitter office carrying boxes, claiming to be fired Twitter workers, but the men appeared to be pulling a prank. However, Here’s Elon’s troll:
There’ll certainly be more E-comedy (Elon Comedy) soon!
Meta[verse] In The Literal Mud
Has anyone seen Meta (Facebook’s) stocks lately?!
It’s been an uncontrollable mess. Meta shares plunge 24% to the lowest price in six (6) years, to under $100
Wall Street calls it a train wreck [in a dumpster, perhaps]
Ok, What Happened?
Meta, Facebook’s parent company, reported quarterly earnings on Wednesday. Revenue was $27.7 billion, a decline of >4% year on year and its second straight quarterly decline. Profits slummed by 52% to $4.4 billion.
It doesn’t stop there, y’all. Meta also tried to manage expectations by warning that things are going to be essentially the same in the fourth quarter. OMO x 100!!!
Mark be like:
In the midst of fierce competition from the likes of TikTok, analysts are also downgrading the Meta stocks due to slower growth & rising costs as Zuckerburg reiterated his commitment to spending billions of dollars developing the metaverse
meanwhile Meta’s Reality Labs division, i.e. its VR headsets, lost over $9 billion so far this year alone.
This plunge in share price means a whooping loss of ~$700 billion in market cap.
…and no its not all doomsday in the stock market 
The Dow
On Friday, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed with >828 points or 2.6% higher at 32,861.80. The S&P 500 also added nearly 2.5%, to close at 3,901.06. The Nasdaq Composite also closed 2.9% higher at 11,102.45.
This was the 4th week in a stretch that the Dow has been doing the Lord’s work for the market! Also known as “the 30-stock index” or the Dow 30 is up 5.7% – its best performance since May & its on track to be the best month since January 1976.
…And there you have it!
It’s a wrap!
What are you waiting for?!?!
Forget not this ministry of yours: Tell a friend to tell a friend to:
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Me to Monday:
Your dearest and favorite Stocks Market Gist Partner,
Tomi, From Trove 
